Wednesday, July 30, 2008
i don't feel like movie-ing tonight,
so cancelled dark knight.
ended up meeting isaac, JJ, fel & vanessa at J8,
had dinner at S11,
started crapping for very long,
before going to isaac's hse for some drinks that he's good at mixing.
it's been like 2-3 yrs since i last went,
and i love his 2 big screens, his keyboard. DAMN NICE.
his place is not so forbidden like last time,
but we were still sneaking in while his family were out having dinner at crystal jade,
it's JJ's actual bday today or yesterday since it's past 12am now.
we sang the birthday song and
isaac did what he do best, mixing brandy, vodka, baileys with juices and ice cream.
and got me drinking like water 'cause i couldn't taste the alcohol.
great, cause i'm having serious headache now.
thanks ah isaac.
i'm no drinker but yah, i just felt like drinking abit tonight.
after his sis's cue that they're returning home,
we faster left the house and headed home.
me and van took 156 ? or whatever back to bt timah to change bus.
we practically chatted our way through,
and gosh, it was so fun gossiping and sharing with her.
better have more girls talk sessions like this.
we went to the extent of missing 3 buses just to continue talking.
girls.....
and when van got off, i got to count on my ever-there buddy isaac to talk to me
while i slowly took a long and quiet walk back to my house from the bus stop.
and there i am now, right in front of my laptop blogging,
proving that the few glasses didn't got me drunk
and i am still sober but extremely tired.
so good night.
life is so tough. isn't it?
i can't make that promise
not knowing whether i can fulfil it
thus, i chose not to reply.
it's not that i'm not moving on,
it's just that i can't find myself moving forward thats all.
Monday, July 28, 2008
i think i just did something that i have never done before
and don't think i ever will again.
what else can i say?
i don't even know what to reply.
for good or bad?
both parties went speechless,
not knowing what to say anymore.
alrights.
the last thing i wanna whine today is
how that stupid steven pushed me to the door
and made me bang my back with the heavy-duty lock handle at the store yesterday.
it is damn farking painful,
and i think the blue-blacks are showing up anytime soon,
but i don't feel like rubbing it
'cause it's simply too painful
that i can't even laugh too much or it will hurt like hell.
some wounds never heals completely.
it opens up naturally,
just like when i was on my way to my granny's birthday 2 sundays ago,
and when i was on my way to my latest cousin kaido's 1 month celebration today,
i can't help but think you were supposed to be here with me meeting my relatives.
then sometimes i think of how your family friends used to say
"hope i'll see you the next time",
and you goes "you all will definitely see her again the next time".
and yet, everything's gone in a flash.
destroyed.
everyone has different perceptions on every thing.
coming to the topic of betrayal.
in my point of view,
even if your bf breaks up with you and only got together with another girl after a week,
it still counts as a form of betrayal.
many may think that
well, he didn't exactly two-timed you, he gave a courtesy call of breaking up with you first.
but hey, he have already stopped loving you since months ago
and he made it a point to use his actions to show you,
and god knows when he started having feelings and hanging out with that girl.
people who have no clues of what's going on definitely thinks that you got dumped for another girl,
in a crude way, you got zao-sai.
some may agree and some might not,
i can't get everyone to agree with me because that's not the way things works.
things that i know might not be the truth
but the one person who should be clarifying it isn't doing it,
so whats the point of having people speaking up for him,
even so, does it really matters anymore ?
you decided on leaving and so leave,
dont turn back anymore,
because the person might not be waiting for someone who no longer loves her.
and they say people's lifestyle changes after every incident,
i agree.
because mine's totally different but i'm living the best of out it.
every minute is well-spent,
not like the past where i've practically slept my way through my 22 yrs.
so whats your perception of betrayal ?
you gave up your chance when you left.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
石康军 - 冷冻
终于清楚的看出你的坏
过去就算我活该
忍无可忍
你不可理喻对待
我淡然地离开
原来谁也不能把谁完全的替代
活在他的影子里只有换来伤害爱着你是那么痛
像刺骨的寒冬
心在低温中
一天一点的冷冻我的身体已冰封
不被眼泪感动
别再热情对待试图将我解冻
为了让你忘记他留下的爱
所有自尊都抛开
你百般挑剔我总显得很失败
不再荒谬忍耐彻底地放开我就能让我解冻
你要的只是陪伴
不是爱我不是爱的乞丐
你不相信我的爱为你存在
那就让我离开
okay.
after isolation mode for one day
(sorry larling, needed some time to think, so i did not reply your sms/calls),
plus exams stress finally gone for now,
i am feeling damn good except for that shitty feeling of having to work as usual,
instead of having holidays like how school students actually gets.
anyways, i went home to sleep last night and woke up only at 3am to start studying on my biz mgmt,
thats when RY sent me some good & meaningful songs,
HAHA!
and i only started studying from 4am-630am,
pop for a short sleep till 10 plus, studied again and went for the exam at 2pm.
then, met tingsin after my paper today,
and i had sushi for dinner on his treat again!
how long have i last had sushi, ages ago.
after dinner, pop over to his hse and "kop" even more games for my psp,
cause i am finally in the mood to resume playing around again after exams.
and the only reason i am blogging now is
because i am waiting for the games to be transferred to my psp.
sigh.
one full day of work tomorrow
and kaido's (my 1 month old cousin) one month celebration on sunday.
did i mention red cliff 赤壁 is a damn good show?
okay. i know i'm SLOW.
but i can't wait for the second part.
takeshi kaneshiro is damn cute as Zhu Ge Liang okay!
tony leung wasn't bad too.
and to think i never thought i will find myself interested in ancient chinese history
though its mostly fiction.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
mood's just nice for isolated mode.
i hate you, EX-boyfriend.
because
you made me become a laughing stock of your unfaithfulness.
the last straw i can take is my own bloody friend tearing my wounds apart again,
telling me that i deserved to be "zao-sai".
thanks but i don't need to be reminded.
screw you.
fark.
is it so funny to laugh at someone for this sort of things?
Monday, July 21, 2008
amazing how someone can bring laughter to your life,
and bring tears into your life that is on par with the laughter.
the sensitivity issue,
not a good issue to debate 'bout.
distractions always finds ways to enter when you're trying desperately hard to cramp yourself into studies,
and i hate it.
there's always the serials, movies, going out, stupid emotions and etc
that makes you feel like escaping from the books.
counting down 16 hrs more...
it's only right not to put too much emotions into it,
you'll just end up getting hurt,
and he's just not sensitive enough to sense it, isn't it?
is your sensitivity debatable ?
i don't really know,
i just know it's either you're pretending not to know or you're real slow.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
it's been a long while since i last slept through till afternoon,
and the feeling is just SOOOO hard to describe...
SHIOK!
but the thought of exams is weighing hard on my mind,
and the pressure and stress is building up.
4 yrs since i last took exams...
and i find myself having NOT ENOUGH TIME to study.
work, studying & D&D rehearsals everyday is draining me dry,
that i decided to let loose a bit yesterday.
randomly, decided to meet up with isaac for dinner yesterday,
well, i do feel kinda bad keeping a distance from him when i was still with zh,
didn't want the sensitive issues to come up again,
but both of us understand this theory well.
it was a damn good feeling to be able to crap whatever we could,
and irritate the hell outta him.
and there were the times when serious talks came in,
shared the happy & unhappy moments we missed out of each other's life.
he's always a good friend.
so being a good friend,
he came down shang to pick me up,
both of us walked from shang to paragon,
have spaggedies for dinner on his treat, =D
continued walking to PS for starbucks.
practically walked the whole of town really and we just kept talking non-stop.
i must say i saw lots of friends yesterday in town,
ranging from my sec sch fren kimmy who so didn't see me,
to my SP's good buddy sweehai who claimed that i have became SO SKINNY after years
and finally a long lost fren wee aik who's working at PS's YAMAHA.
exchanged a lil updates & there we went moving on to our plans..
then,
durians at geylang with biggy ears, lye lye, dumb dumb sis, RY & muscle man,
it's been a LONG LONG time since i had them.
damn GOOD! durian season... YUMMY
but the after-effects of durians always kicks in the next day,
with sore-throats and the uncomfortable feeling.
so now i am feeling guilt for not studying and i dont have much time to study now,
cause i'm going to work at 530pm.
which is boring but i'm broke.
kai liang that MAN YU GAO's flying off tonight to sydney,
he better dont spread his "man yu gao" around.
bon voyage dude!
Thursday, July 17, 2008
i have my doubts.
and why ain't i studying at this time,
instead getting addicted to sex & the city.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
dear jolynn,
i read your blog and i kinda know.
i understand how you're feeling now,
just want you to know,
"you're not alone"
don't be sorry because you've loved,
it's just that he don't know how to appreciate.
when love starts becoming one-sided,
there's no longer a point in holding on anymore.
when a guy tells you he don't love you anymore,
it's time you start moving on.
one last thing i learnt,
don't blame yourself anymore,
because it's not your fault.
even comforting words to you now may seems like daggers,
so i wont say much anymore.
call me if you need me. =)
Monday, July 14, 2008
i always believe in songs depicting how you feel.
so there goes another song.
*AHEM*
*DELETED*
thats why they say humans like to create troubles for themselves.
---------------
my time have been very packed for these 2 weeks,
too much movies, mj and supper.
this week's study week,
no school. =D
but it just means next week's exams week,
so gotta study. =(
and i only got 1 week of holiday before school starts again on 5 Aug,
OB & BS.
sian.
