Thursday, June 30, 2005
i realise i have been saying that im tired for the past few days. pretty dumb to keep repeating but yes, im really dead beat!
woke up @ 730am if im not wrong ? see ??? i got to wake up SO early just because im workin @ 10am. imagine when i work 830am. i think i will go crazy. wake up late for sure AND take cab~ duhz~ i guess i im pretty lucky considering after i board 975 before i change to 190, it rain DAMN heavily ! lucky girl~ but i still got a lil wet after getting off 975 and waiting for 190 for about 10mins ? after working for 3 days, im proud to say today i took bus to work. lol ! took 1hr15mins - 1hr30mins. sense of satisfaction. Finally starting to save !
oh ya ! Great news ! I passed my Test Call !!!! well.. actually its nothin much to be happy about considering from then on, i'll be on my own answering calls myself. Ha ! Not very fun huh~ Esp when u got to type and answer call at the same time. But ur typing skills CONFIRM will improve one !! It gets VERY irritating when people talk too fast on the phone and i cant get it ! nvm. i will get used to it soon enough.
well.. was supposed to meet lala after i finish work for a while. But too bad she was busy. so another day perhaps.
working @ shang tml 530pm !
it seems like now im too busy for anything else. Esp after i decided to work @ Shang on my 2 off days every week. sort of to earn a lil allowance. After i got this job, it seems like my whole life routine now is work and go home. im like dedicating my life to work now. i dont even feel like going out after a day of work. Dont really have the mood. Dont wanna waste money either. i just want to clear all debts ASAP! im keep myself busy with work. Forgetting about every other unhappy things . have absolutely no more energy to think after working. just feel like slping.
Alright. im sure i will make time for my Sweets ! No worries ! i miss my Sweets so much too ! Forgive me ! =)
im hitting my bed baby soon ! swit dreams to ya all esp my sweets ! !
Love ya,
Mich
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
once again~ im dead beat. nothing new. nothing much happened either.
learnt more new things @ work. and yah. i got a Test coming up tml. i better pass ! kinda stressed now. i have to remember everything. duhz ! i dont wanna dream of answering calls tonight. i already dreamt about work yesterday. which is quite taxing k ! im already having not enough rest.
anyway, im going back to shang this friday to work. gotta earn a lil allowance. if not i'll be eating air during my lunch or dinner breaks. Ha !
i cant find time to watch Intial D. which i cant wait to watch. Esp when i noe so many ppl watched it. Edison ! haii..
looking @ people so blissfully in love makes me envy. seeing people acting stupidly for love turns me off yet. i wonder wad i want. wad i feel.
Im going NUTS~ mentally Lost. Freaking Mad !! No medicine can cure. im burying myself with work. i chose to close an eye for everything happening around me. I lost a few friends. yes and i learnt a lesson. *Dont ask wad i mean cause most probably i wont answer* i feel so confined to myself.
working @ 10am tml !
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
alright. today's my 1st day @ StarHub. work was ok. its actually quite taxing to my mind. gotta memorise so much things and there's even a test on thurs. duhz. i admit im dead tired now. Due to not enough slp plus im not used to waking up early .
and wads worse. the next 2 days, i'll be workin @ 830am in the freaking morning ! -.-" farking LONG journey from my house to my workplace. gotta wake up so early . im damned NOT USED TO IT ! Esp after slacking at home for nearly 2 months !!!
gosh ! Dead Beat !
went to Shang after i finished work and met up with KL, Alicia and Joanna. then the 2 of them left , leaving me and Joanna waiting for my sister Joanne. (kinda rhyme eh~!) walked all the way from the freaking far Shang all the way to Cineleisure ! bleahz !
anyway.
Monday, June 27, 2005
im lost once again` trying to find myself within the mist of my confined world .
though words keep weaving through my mind. i cant seem to find the word to describe how im feeling now.
im not sad. neither am i happy. im feeling so restless~
im having trouble blogging. no inspiration. mind in a blur. emotions in a mess. mixed feelings.
Cure me~
starting my 1st day @ StarHub tml. =)
im scared and worried when im surrounded by strangers. i go on defensive mode. i will shut up !
So unlike the Michelle i knew. bleahz !
Guess who !
Taken @ Cineleisure after we finished movie on sat. we were pretty bored so took pictures ! Ha!
tts Stupid Lionel Koh's shoe vs Mine ! muahahhahahaa
Sunday, June 26, 2005
as i look at the past hi5 journals i posted when we were "supposedly" together, i got all kinds of mixed feelings. had so much kind of feelings.
i felt LOST! LONELY! SAD ! DEPRESSED ! TERRIBLE ! DOWN ! HEART-WRENCHING !
YET~
sometimes, i felt so blissfully in love(one sided love) whenever i recieved calls or msges from him. which is wad people who are in love (or think they were) feels. pretty dumb actually. this is where this saying is being used "One does stupid things for love" .
i guess this is wad people call LOVE. u experience all the ups and downs of emotions. one minute you can be at the highest peak on mountain in heaven and the very next minute, you might be thrown to the bottom pit of hell.
Looking at everything i used to write about how i felt for him, i see foolishness and untainted love.
i once told him : " i will be ur confidant listenin to what you have to say... be your chu qi tong when you are angry.. be there fer you when you need someone.. and all it takes to make your life better..." -which now i think, yeah ! i WAS hell stupid actually !
i had to change ! and im doing it now. or have i already done it ?
i used to be someone who dont think much of serious relationship. i dont believe in love at that point of my life. guys who came in at that time were the guys i let down. they were the ones who already knew how to love.
Till i met him, i changed. and i learnt to love in the most foolish and hard way.
"Funny how strangers becomes friends. Even funnier how friends becomes strangers!"
Hi There Stranger ! wanna be friends ? Ha !
its end of the week again~ Sunday!
*yawn* im still sleepy. just had my lunch.
Now i shall blog about wad happened yesterday.
wad a freaking busy day ! SO many "new birds".. gotta teach and serve @ the same time. farking tiring. but pretty rewarding when my waitress thank me and said she learnt alot. i was grinning. hee ! at least i haven forgot how to serve. lol !
after work, had a last min arrangement with the usual peepx & lala to watch A Lot Like Love cause we couldnt get tix for Intial D. *sob* so saddening ! i wanna see Edison ! too bad~ anyway, was talking abt the show. well. not bad considering i din slp cus i was darn tired !
Finally my life is back, no need to stay @ home and rot. better not be ruined by my new job ! excited. 2 more days to the start of my job !
I'll be there for you, these five words I swear to you
When you breathe, I wanna be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
I'd steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what love can do
I'll be there for you
Saturday, June 25, 2005
woke up not long ago. just had my lunch.
working at shang later.
lets see if there's anything interesting ba..
stupid iz showing me attitude. nvm ! show him attitude back later.
Friday, June 24, 2005
im Thrilled. guess wad.. im gonna bath and be on my way to Recruit Express and get my Employment Notice. which means - i got the job !!! Finally~!!!
But im not tt happy cus my biatch din get in.. =(
now i dont have to be nagged all the time. Esp my stupid lionel kor.
To be continued when i get home~
alright.. im back !
went to Recruit Express and met XY after tt. had dinner with her and we talked after so long. proceeded to walk around @ Far East befor going home.
im starting work on tue. WooooT~ Finally !! after being jobless for so long, i finally found a job. duhz. anyway, im going back to tt Damned Shang and work tmr. i bet alot of people are surprised. well.. i decided to bac and have some fun.. lol
for the past 2 days, have been talkin to iz till the wee hours. yah yah. he blames me for neglecting him. say im PCB. i have divided loyalty. haha. i din noe he mind wad. since he always so bo chap. But nvm. we are back to normal. yeah. i sure do feel bad when i think back to the times when he call me and im always busy doing things or playing game. i wont neglect this pig again.. if not he will nag and nag.
Oh yah.. my parents are back home. HAHA.. and they din buy the things i wanted. bleahz. =( nvm.
anyway. i realised that a few of my frens have changed. in one way or another. even i hav changed. whether for the better or worse, i have no idea. so i put my msn nick as "Im seeing people change. Now i believe Time can change people". whereby i was corrected by iz. who said : Time doesnt change people or heal pain. Time just disperses the pain. (which i agree is true) and he even gave me an example as to why people always have misconception that Time will heal pain. well.. There's physical pain when people get cut or bruises. this is the kind of pain that Time will heal. But too bad, Time cant heal emotional pain. its up to each individual to self-heal i guess.
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Basic photoshop skills
tata~
Look to the future~
Look away from the past~
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
grrrrr~ already nearly finished my entry and tis stupid RY's laptop got to hang! hmp!!! now i gotta re-type! duhz..
anw. i went for another interview today @ Starhub.. in another department though. it went ok~ better than the last i guess.. not as stressed.. and since they r hiring in a grp. so maybe higher chance ? i'll noe by this weekend.. Pray hard hard~!
after the interview, went over to PS to watch Ice Princess.. Great show~!!! recommend to all girls.. lol ! cus its typically a show girls will like.. =)
and finally now~ im @ my 2nd home again~! wads new rite. and my stomach's growling. im hungry!
Wish me luck in my job hunting~!!!
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Sunday, went to jb to munch some yummy food into my stomach.. YummmY!!! with ? RY, IZ and Raph. haven seen IZ for so long and he's still as irritating as be4. wads new hur~ LOL~
oh yah. on that fateful day, i dont know what the hell is wrong with me. maybe i got too distracted by the tv till i managed to cut the flesh under my nail. freaking pain! but its better now though. have a lil difficulty typing for the last few days.
as for yesterday, din do much actually. couldnt go out cause my keys was @ RY hse. so kinda gotta wait for him to send it over. went to takeaway Rojak @ Keat Hong.. *yummy* as for the rest of the day, watched Tian Long Ba Bu.
Recruit Express called while i was slping jus now. arranged another interview @ Starhub again~ but a completely different department. hope the interviewer this time round wont be like the last one. That woman who interviewed us that time, seems to be so bo chap and keep asking all those chimilogy questions. leaving people a lil dumbfounded. tomorrow's interview @ 2.45pm! hopefully can get the job! im broke and jobless( i menioned this dunno how many times)..
my parents are coming back on friday~ wondering whether to go n pick them up from airport. well.. shall think about it and make a decision.
now my whole head is about JOB~!!!
Sunday, June 19, 2005
lalalalalalalala~
dooo dooo dooo~
off to makan @ jb later ??
Saturday, June 18, 2005
i kinda woke up pretty late yesterday. and i was so pissed cus i couldnt log in to internet..
out of no choice, watch Tian Long Ba Bu with my sista.. Then, KL called me to go to my 2nd home. alright. another gambling marathon session. damn unlucky this time round. lost alot.. haii.
i nid a job. im broke and jobless.. anyone has a job to recommend ???
today's the 2nd day my parents is away from home. how am i feeling ? well.. jus a lil not used to it. but still alright. im really rotting like hell. everyday's slacking
wonder if we are going JB to eat later not. its been real freaking long since i last eat delicious yummy yummy food~
counting down to 23rd June.. Intial D.. Edison Chen!!!! Woooo~ waiting waiting!!
Give me a simple life and i'll trade you my life!
Thursday, June 16, 2005
lemme recall wad happened yesterday.. still in a daze.. sleepyhead.
had to wake up early to mit jojo @ np. and also to pass my kor iz's dvds. if not he will pestering me every single day.. BAH! went to catch "Mr and Mrs Smith" @ Cine with jojo. Awww~ sry girl! know you watched it already. but its a nice show. so dont mind watchin it. =P hee.
"Mr and Mrs Smith" damn nice! just as i expected~ up to my preference! Brad Pitt is WOOOO LAAA LAAA~!!! LOL! Angelina Jolie is not bad either! in all, the show's cool and awesome! catch it if you haven!
after the movie, went over to EJ's grandpa wake. this is the 2nd time i ever go to a wake. wasnt prepared for this, so i was like wearing GREEN ??? its like so embarrassing.. i pray and hope that his ah gong will find peace and "zhao deng ji le zhi jie".. when i see eujean cry first den his mother cry afterwards, i feel so ....... haiz~ dont know how to describe the feeling ..
anw, i was wondering what will be my reaction when i see zw. yesterday was the 1st day i saw him after all thhe events. din have any reaction or should i say i din even look @ him or think he's there. its a good start. i'll keep it up.
during the wake, kailee called me to go to RY hse(aka my 2nd home).. when i pop over there after the wake, i see woah! so many people le ah. they already started gambling. so i jux chipped in and play. went to The Cheese Prata Shop with syl just for a while. and went back t gamble again~ the whole house is so warm and humid cus there's so many people there. i lost n lost.. and thankfully i recoup my losses after we left the house which is like 12 plus in the afternoon ??? haha. took cab home and i was like "AWWW!! My bed looks so DAMNED IT nice and comfy!!!".. LOL! so i hit the bed and zZzzz. off to mit Zhou Gong for some chess sessions.
i just woke up @ 8plus in the night when my mama wake me up for dinner. pretty tired! just had my dinner. OH YA! i forgot today i wanted to go to the wake. but its already so late. so i guess i should just forget it. if im to go out so late again, my mama will be nagging again. and since she's going to china tmr already, i shall not make her worried. maybe i will drop by the wake tmr.
im wondering whether i have any plans tmr not. cant really remember. but nvm.. "ming tian de shi, ming tian cai xiang..
im getting tired thinking about what to write le. so i shall proceed to playing my game now.
chaoz~
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
finally i went out yesterday. have been cooping myself at home for the last few days. woot~ fresh air lurks into my long dead brain.. well.. din plan to go out actually.. last minute decided to go..
first of all..
HapPy biRthDay Raymond Lim~
well. i was rather bored yesterday as usual. my sis went out fer lunch n bought something back for me to eat too. Angie and Jason plus his lil baby, QiQi came over to my house to wait my Big Shot sister to dress up. LOL! Qi Qi is SOOOO CUTE.. totally hard to resist.. SHYT! forgot to take a photo of her. awww~ too bad~
after they left. i continue watching vcds though i tink i watched it a dozen times. THEN, MeiYun called me. to go to Raymond's bday celebration... and since i havent been goin kbox for quite some time. i went! well.. overall. its alright. considering i saw quite a number of people i haven been seeing ever since i left shang. and the whole load of us (consisting 17 peepx) talked from the wee hours to 6plus in the morning.. well.. normal for all of the night owls. lol. they still can tahan lor!! cus they went to RY hse to play Mahjong... -.-" the last thing i will ever want to do. well. it was pretty early and the sun was getting up meaning my mama is oso waking up. so my sister and me kinda rushed home.
as for today. woke up @ 11 plus. checked something.. couldnt take it. and thus, hit my bed again. too little sleep aint good for a PIG like me k.. my sister bought me lunch today again. if not i'll be eating maggie mee just like was i did fer the past few days. nothing special today. play CO again as always.
now's the time is about 2.35am. well.. 15 june.. my long time fren birthday.
HaPpy 19th BirThdAy EDdiE. i have known this stupid guy since pri school. so much memories. so much fun in the past. and yeah. whether its luckily or too unfortunate for me, we were same school since pri sch. -.-" till poly. i'll never forget a fren like him. cus of reasons. though he wont be seeing this. i still wish for the best for him and get taller dude! OppS~! awww~ its already sounding abit old-fashioned. so i shan't continue with the mushy details. just a simple happy birthday wish to You. Enjoy your birthday!!
hands getting a lil tired. =P cus i have been lazy to blog for so long. so now everything's pops into my head after my mind is clearer now.
i aint doing nothing when im at home these few days.. maybe a week. i have been thinking alot. about the things that happened. well. people said i changed. maybe to some its for the better or not. i dont know. but still, i will just let go of the past. i'll not ask about You anymore. wont want to know about You from other people's mouth either. for the time being, we r not suitable to be frens. yah yah.. i know the usual crap when couples break up who will say : "We can still be friends!".. Ewww~ shut the crap man! we wont make it and we both know it. So, Get Lost from my life and no more hurting my sistership. its very sickening and moronic. its just not worth it. getting all upset because of you. i learnt a great deal of things from You. All about Guy's Coldness, Nonchalance and the attitude swing. i can no longer give myself anymore excuses for loving such a guy like You. Yah yah yah! i noe i have been saying i want to give up from since dunno how many decades ago(just a comparison to how farking long it has been). And this time, after i tried and failed. i know what to do now. im numbed to the pain You caused me from then till now~ its a kind of relief. End of You.
Condolences to EJ. dont really wan to elaborate on this.
oh yah. for the people who have been asking and havent already know. peepz like couzin yiwen 2 yrs my junior. thanks for all your concern. i din get the starhub job. so the agency's lookin for another job for me and jojo.
My parents going China from this friday to next friday!! speaking of which, i haven even sat a plane be4. SUA KU~ wadever! im pestering my mum i wanna go taiwan to shop.. LOL!
LONG LONG entry. work of a lazy bum.
Sing me a lullaby! i bet i'll sleep before it's even finished! im hitting the bed baby!
Monday, June 13, 2005
well well well. i guess i haven been blogging for a very long time.. realli long..
basically because i got nothing to blog about.. for the past week, i dunno how i passed it seriously... i eat slp play co.. tts all.. or i will mit Lionel(my pri sch fren) for tok cock session cum puffing session..
THATS HOW BORING MY LIFE IS NOW.. IM JOBLESS~ haii..
Till we meet again.. thats when i get to go out... lol
Thursday, June 09, 2005
im sorry to You. i want to explain but i'll never get the chance. so forget abt the explaining part.
i need to think alone.. i dont think i can trust anyone now.
i just wanna be alone. so leave me alone. dont find me... after 7pm today..
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
guess wad.. im at ray yee hse again.. lol
watchin eye for a guy 2.. woah woah woah.. fairy tale kind of story.. which guy nowadays will do these kind of lil sweet thingys that will touches a girl's heart deep deep down..
i think im really bored. really bored and it gets me thinking of very irrelevant things.. i flipped through my stuffs yesterday. and flipped through my report books, sec sch testimonials.. and blah blah blah.. and oso.. my OBS cert.. LOL.. well.. i noe.. its lame. but dont blame me.. im kinda jobless now. and oso slacking everyday at home with nothing to do..
i wanna go somewhere. but im lazy. and i have no idea to go. no company to go with either. life is just so boring. so i might as well stay home everyday and play CO. aww~ wad a life.. duhz.
oh yah.. finally tt stupid piggy kailee's chicken pox is ok.. muahahhaa... dumb dumb pig with scard.. =P she's gonna kill me for sure.. LOL
alright. i just woke up. cus i couldnt take it anymore. the whole nite my nose have been givin me trouble. so itchy and painful. now im having a tissue to stop my nose from bleeding.. omg~
yes. i will admit something. i did cry over him yesterday. but i will make it clear now. its totally not becus i still love him or wadever shyt. its becus... he INSULTED me. he make it sound like im a slut.. WTF~ now it becomes my fault. i cried becus im so angry. angry with him as well as myself for liking such an idiot.
im SOOO PISSED~!!! i wanna eat and eat!!!! nah.. this is not called bao yin bao shi. im gonna stay home the next few days and play CO CO CO..
forget abt him. everything turned so ugly. perhaps becus of me.. making the wrong decision. causin so much things to change within just a few days. i may regret a lil. but in the end, its a release from my long term pain. though things turn out to be real bad..
wadever. fuck up guys.
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
i dont know what to do. what to think. i feel so lost. i just feel tt a decision i made changed so many things within a few days. just a few days feels like a lifetime to me. it seems that i have lost some frens and i somehow broke up a frenship.
i cant find my way back anymore. everything changed. i tried and got this situation which i dont want to handle. maybe i dont even know how to..
im breaking down. i tried to be strong and im still appearing strong..
but deep inside.. i just feel so empty.. so lonely.. i rather cry everything out and done with.. but the tears just wont drop.
why why.. tell me why..
Yes. im so unhappy.
Monday, June 06, 2005
awww.. im suffering from insomnia.. the least likely person who will get this kind of shyt...
cus im a PIG. i slp SO MANY hrs a day...
BAHHHH.. im so bored..
im bloggin nonsense.. muahahahaa..
im mad...
going for my interview later...
Sunday, June 05, 2005
well well well.. guess wad..
im back to the straight hair days. wake up @ 7 plus in the morning to pop over to my aunt's hse to get my hair done.. my hair is so much shorter.. maybe becus its shorter, it feels different.. and im SO happy that my hair is NOT spoilt..
now i look like a good girl...
BUT.. i painted my nails BLACK. lol. have been thinking of this for very long... finally did it..
imagine a good girl with Black nails. LOL..
going for my 2nd interview tml.. hope to get the job.. i dont want to remain jobless.. slack everyday and think about things that should be forgotten..
anw.. lemme share something funny..
i was havin a lil nap at my aunt's hse jus now.. be4 i slept my mum msged me whether im having dinner @ home.. i replied n den slept... i had a funny dream which i told my cousin.. and she couldnt stop laughin.. i dreamt tt i had missed calls.. 1 from my mum.. and 1 from Porridge.. and there i was in the dream thinking very LOGICALLY tt i will be having porridge for dinner cus porridge called me.. haha...
3 days is the best i can give him i guess..
advices flew from everywhere to just let go since he dont even bother. well.. i finally got the ans i have been waiting for ever since dont know how long ago...
WE AINT MEANT TO BE TOGETHER..
its the last straw. You were the one who said we could try it out. but your actions doesnt prove your words. You went MIA. making me worried but yet dont want to disturb You just in case You think im irritating You. i feel like an stupid idiot. Was i forcing You ? In ur mindset, perhaps i was.. You always think i am making You feel bad. Do You think i feel good ? i feel WORSE in case You din realise it. At least i tried, if You r still ignorant.. i think i should just tell You how much courage and hurt a girl must have in order to speak up to her feelings esp to a GUY who is so ignorant of wad others is feeling. at least it took 1 freaking Year of Pain and Tears before i could muster up my courage to tell You that i was waiting for You all this while.
and STOP giving me the excuse of not wanting to hurt me. i have enuff of Your excuses. Maybe because of You, im branded STUPID.. all because im like throwing myself at You. but at least, i WAS being true to my feelings. at least i TRIED, im not like You. You DONT even try. wad a major disappointment. oh wells. wadever.
You made me feel like a perfect fool. one who still lingers on to the lil bit of feeling You have been saying You have for me. to say the truth, i cant feel it. Not anymore.
was it that hard just to say NO? rather than saying you will TRY. but in the end, YOU DID NOT. and that makes me go freaking CRAZY.
Since You DONT even want to try. then i dont see a point in me waiting for You any longer. Your actions are making me HATE You. i dont want to hate You. But You forced me to.
im numbed. and its all because of You.
this time i didnt shed a tear for you. im calm. unexpectedly CALM.
One fine day You might just turn back in time to think about the girls who used to love You. But You will find that they regret loving a person like You. Because they wasted their time on someone who never cherish the love they gave You.
Perhaps that One day is the day when someone do all this to You. then You will realise this is wad i felt now.
Saturday, June 04, 2005
i just want to get out of this world for just these 2 days.
Just let me be alone. Let me think.
Friday, June 03, 2005
1st June 2005
finally we are together after 1 yr.
should i say im happy ? well.. lets see how things goes.
Baby.. You may not see this. But i love you. Ever since 25 May 2004, you have lived inside my heart. i have no idea how long we will be together. but i hope the best to come out from this relationship..
I Love You~
